How to Handle Stress

          1. Use your MasterCard to pay off your Visa.
          2. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
          3. When someone says "Have a nice day," tell them you
          already have plans.
          4. Find out what a frog in a blender really looks
          like.
          5. Forget the Diet Center and send yourself a
          Candygram.
          6. Make a list of things to do that you have already
          done.
          7. Dance naked in front of your pets.
          8. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send
          him off to pre-school as if nothing were wrong.
          9. Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax
          forms in Roman numerals.
          10. Tatoo "Out to Lunch" on your forehead.
          11. Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and
          launch them from high places.
          12. Leaf through National Geographic and draw
          underwear on the natives.
          13. Go shopping. Buy something. Sweat in it. Return it
          the next day.
          14. Buy a subscription to Sleazoid Weekly and send it
          to your boss' wife.
          15. Pay your electric bill in pennies.
          16. Drive to work in reverse.
          17. Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite
          episode of "The Flintstones" during that important
          finance meeting.
          18. Sit naked on a shelled hard boiled egg.
          19. Refresh yourself. Put your tongue on a cold steel
          guardrail.
          20. Polish your car with earwax.
          21. Read the dictionary upsidedown and look for secret
          messages.
          22. Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it
          when it comes back to you.
          23. Bill your doctor for time spent in his waiting
          room.
          24. Braid the hairs in each nostril.
          25. Write a short story using alphabet soup.
          26. Lie on your back eating celery... using your navel
          as a salt dipper.
          27. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and
          pretend they are in jail.
          28. Make up a language and ask people for directions.

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